Know Your Message and Audience

CHARLOTTE, NC-Look at any job listing and you're likely to see “good communication skills required.” No matter what your position, it's hard to be effective if you can't communicate well.

We start communicating shortly after birth, so why do so many people have lifelong problems?  Perhaps it's because we often forget that the meaning of communication is determined by the person receiving it—not the person giving it. In other words, we don't have total control over the interpretation of the messages we send to someone.

The same words, symbols or behaviors can have different meanings for different people. Have you ever sat in a meeting and then talked to someone afterwards who had an entirely different interpretation of what happened?

Indeed, communication is commonplace, but effective communication is not. However, no matter how we choose to communicate, three key things can be done to reduce miscommunication: 

1. Know Your Message – What are you trying to say, and why?  If you aren't sure about your message or ultimate objective, no one else will either.
2. Know Your Audience – For whom is your message intended?  Do they have any preconceived ideas or biases?  What's their level of knowledge or comprehension?  By knowing your audience better, you have a much better chance of matching your meaning with their interpretation.  Remember, they are the ultimate judges of your communication effectiveness.
3. Know Yourself – What are your strengths, weaknesses, and preferences in delivering communication?  Do you use too many words, or too much jargon? How effective is your body language or other nonverbal skills?  You may need to modify your communication style to match how your audience best receives communication. 

Another related skill affects our ability to communicate, whether we're giving or receiving messages.  The most common problem in communication is not listening. Hearing is just the act of perceiving sound.  Listening is interpreting the meaning of the message being received.  If we don't “listen” well, we won't accurately understand the messages we receive, nor will we understand our audience when we're the ones delivering the message.

Listening is not easy. We normally speak at a rate of 100-175 words per minute; however, we can listen intelligently at 600-800 words per minute.  So there is a natural tendency for our minds to wander when hearing others talk. Effective listening requires work and concentration, making sure that we:

1. Seek to understand the other person, and what underlying feelings and biases they may have that might impact communication
2. Be non-judgmental, and don't come to conclusions too early
3. Give undivided attention to the speaker, and not become distracted
4. Use silence effectively, avoiding unnecessary interruptions
5. Ask clarifying questions when needed
6. Rephrase or summarize what we hear, in our own words, to confirm receipt (or not) of the intended messages.

Fortunately, communication is a skill upon which we can all improve.  Better communication will enhance our job performance, and can build stronger personal and professional relationships.

Elizabeth Machen is 2013 President of the Institute of Real Estate Management and president of Machen Advisory Group, Charlotte, NC.