It's still summer, and flu season is a distant memory (or, ifyou are the type that worries about the future, a sense ofimpending doom). And good riddance – nobody likes amisery-laden extended stay on the couch. However, theCommercial Real Estate industry is in a busy season for propertytransaction due-diligence environmental investigations, which causetheir own laundry list of maladies. None should be takenlightly, but unfortunately, your general practitioner likely willnot recognize your property transaction-inducedailments. Your go-to online medical source – doubtful too. No, for diagnoses and remedies of this sort you willneed a specialist – the Environmental Doctor. So, as a publicservice, please contact me immediately if you experience any of thefollowing:

• Phase I Environmental Site Assessment induced highblood pressure. In practice, Itypically see many patients whose blood pressure spike during thetwo week period between authorizing the consultant to proceed withthis initial environmental investigation and receipt ofresults. You are not alone. But, take solace in thefact that the vast majority of Phase I Environmental SiteAssessments (Phase I ESA) come back with a clean bill of property health and donot require additionalaction. Asphygmomanometer is handy, but remembering that the Phase I ESA isthere to protect your interests is handier still.
  
  

• Environmental pinkeye. Unlike its cousin,environmental pink eye is not viral or bacterial. Rather, it is caused by lacrimal gland fluid overproduction,otherwise known as uncontrollable sobbing. Underlying causesinclude the identification of a recognized environmental condition (REC) duringthe Phase I ESA process and the receipt of unfavorable laboratoryanalytical results during the Phase II Environmental SiteAssessment. However, all is not lost. Any environmentalconsultant worth your time should be able to do more than offer aKleenex and an encouraging word. Practical time- andcost- sensitive solutions to remediate any issues can turnthat frown upside down and dry up the well (and take you toregulatory closure or the legal process if needed!).
  
  

• Allergic reactions caused by environmental consultants. It's true – sometimes environmental consultants arethe bearers of bad news during a propertytransaction. Hence, many in the transaction process break outin hives or sweat profusely when the environmental consultantenters the scene. These are common reactions. But, weare neither pollen nor dog dander so there's no need to pop Sudafedor stick yourself with an EpiPen in our presence! Remember, environmental consultants are there to protectbusiness interests by enabling you to make better buying/lendingdecisions. Only a Phase I ESA performed in accordance withASTM and EPA'sAll Appropriate Inquiry (AAI) standards can protect youfrom liability under the Comprehensive Environmental Repsonse,Compensation and Liability Act (CERCLA).
  
  

• Selectivecataracts. Often, when readingenvironmental reports, one's vision will cloud-up when presentedwith unexpected or unfavorable conclusions. These aretemporary selective cataracts. Remember when your mother accusedyou of selective hearing as a child – when your hearing was justfine when the ice cream truck turned the corner, but maybe not sogood when chores called. Same premise. Here, again,you'll need the right environmental consultant to clearly explainthe situation in non-technical terms and to provide timely andcost-sensitive solutions. You'll find those cataracts clearup quickly, without expensive surgery.
  
  

• Environmental hair loss. This one iseasy to diagnose as it differs significantly from typical malepattern baldness. It's more patchy. When presented witha patient with this type of random hair loss – a spot here, a spotthere – I realize immediately they were pulling their own hair outwhile reading a poorly written and thus hard to decipherenvironmental report. Unfortunately, this is an all toocommon occurrence. My advice is to find a consultant thatwrites clearly and effectively and takes the time for thoroughinternal peer review, to allow you to make informed businessdecisions based on the findings. Your significant other willthank you for it.
  
  

Thank you for reading this important environmental publicservice announcement. Prevention is always preferred over acure. If you have any comments or questions – pleasechime in below. The Environmental Doctor is in.