If you ever haveto translate a word or short phrase into another language, or checkthe spelling of a foreign word, Google Translate is a wonderfultool. As a first generation American of Estonian decent, Isometimes forget if an Estonian vowel requires an umlaut. So,I'll type the troublesome word into the translator, wait amicrosecond, and then the Google version of those handy-dandy UNheadphones performs linguistic magic. For example, if I typein “vowel” I'll hit the umlaut trifecta: “täishäälik.”

And there are many choices in Google Translate. Spanish– check. Chinese – check. Azerbaijani – check. But unfortunately, Environmental Jargon is not an option. And that's a shame. Because the language environmentalregulators and consultants speak is as Greek as one of those tastyspinach spanakopitas. So, maybe someday you'll be able toenter environmental mumbo-jumbo into an on-line translator. In the meantime tough, if you would like to test your personalknowledge of environmental lingo, below is a multiple choice quiz. The directions are simple – read the term and then choose theanswer that best matches the definition. Read all of the answersbefore making your choice. If you do not know the answer,quietly lower your head in shame (you'll see why shortly). When finished, forward this link to all of your LinkedIn contacts. Here wego… Acute hazard:(a) a short-term exposure threat to large amounts of toxicsubstances (b) Lindsay Lohan Artesian Well:(a) a naturally pressurized well that flows with no pumpingrequired (b) a recently discovered well drilled by PabloPicasso Emissions cap:(a) the maximum allowable amount of a particular pollutantfrom a point source (b) a stinky beret Effluent:(a) the treated or non-treated liquid discharging from a pipeinto a receiving water (b) one who is verbose with curse words Environmental Professional (EP):(a) Someone who qualifies to conduct and supervise Phase I Environmental Site Assessments, basedon education, certifications, and/or experience (b) Probably not someone who writes mock environmental quizzesbased on dry, satirical, and/or sophomoric humor Exposure Pathway:(a) the scenario through which one can come into contact witha toxic situation (b) forgetting to pull up the zipper on your trousers NB Partner's President Joseph Derhake discusses the exposurepathway resulting from the migration of volatile chemicals from thesubsurface into overlying buildings in his article titled "The NewVapor-Intrusion Standard" in Scotsman Guide. You can read ithere. Free product: (a) light or dense non-aqueous phase liquid (b) the sample of honey maple ham you receive while waitingpatiently at the deli counter Historic Fill Material: (a) soil of unknown origin, often including contaminatedindustrial waste and by-products(b) the stuff inside Twinkies, often including similarsounding by-products Industrial hygiene: (a) the science of averting workplace illness orinjury(b) the science of extremely well groomed machines If you answered “a” for all of the questions above,congratulations, you are well versed in environmental jargon. Ifyou answered “b” for any of the questions above, congratulations,you were probably the class clown in high school. Stay tuned for J through Z in a future column!